Need sex. Gaining weight.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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