i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
