whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
