somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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