Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
