ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
