felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Randomize
