you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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