Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
