Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
