btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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