with your own penis?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
