no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
