Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
