I heard we made out
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
