Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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