What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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