i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
