I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
That's intense
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
