haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
this is an emotional support booty call
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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