walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
