im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
