if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
