Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
