once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
