I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
