Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
