don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
