I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I need to sanitize my soul.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
