I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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