I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
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