I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
