I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize