so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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