He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
