we're blogging at a bar
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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