Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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