we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize