i just had sex bonerless
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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