Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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