It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just found a bag of teeth...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
