i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
