I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize