he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
