Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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