I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
