You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
