Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
What a dumb baby whore.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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