Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
