It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
