He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize