You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
