NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
