You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just invented taco cereal.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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