I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
