five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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