So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
