i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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