Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
