Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
