so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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