so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
